I swore to myself never to do it again, and here again, like a cycle  I was at it. I felt like a slave bounded with chains to this filthy habit. I knew I was dying slowly because i always a part of me was pinched off anytime I find myself doing what I never wanted to do. My self-esteem diminished slowly , I hated myself the more every moment. I knew within me that if I wasn’t released from this painful grip I would do something drastic. Every night I soaked my pillow with my tears. I just wanted to end it.
Any time my friends and family came around, my mood switched and there was always a release but this did not last.  Everything seems normal for a moment and in another moment I felt the pain of the grip all over me.  I WANTED TRUE FREEDOM.

This was my story until I met someone, I had met him once before but I wasn’t paying attention. He was always there but I Just couldn’t notice. He exposed me to what true love is by  loving me with all my filthiness and imperfections. He showed me that those chains weren’t the problem but my fear. I was scared to get out of my mess because I never believed I could ever be free even though I wanted freedom. He helped me up .Then I discovered those chains were only imaginary. He opened my eyes to reality. I was actually free but fear had kept me down. I was only a slave to fear all this while.

This is to anyone struggling with a habit, you can be free like I am now. There is only one answer, meet the man Jesus. He never condemns, he loves you right now and wants your freedom more than you do.  And if you have met him and still struggling with a habit, I want you to know that you are already free. Stand up from that mess and live. Don’t let fear or unbelief keep you there. Those chains are only imaginary .Who ever he sets free is free indeed.
Now I this song makes more meaning —
   I’m free indeed
   In Christ I’m free indeed
   No chains are holding me
   This is who I choose to be.



  1. Good one dear.. let the world know

  2. Hummm. This one of the best stories I have read in a long time. Not about how is started till the end; but I because understood every line (because I have been there before) word by word.